


Bumbling Little Murderers

by OctarineSparks



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Bees! - Freeform, Crack, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1829794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OctarineSparks/pseuds/OctarineSparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I was waking down the street when I was mercilessly accosted by a bee. Now I like bees, but this little blighter was relentless. So I asked myself the same thing I always do in times of trouble: What would Sherlock do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bumbling Little Murderers

"There's a bee."

John looked up from his paper. Sherlock was curled up in his chair, a look of pure loathing and terror on his face. 

"Shoo it out then," John said, trying to suppress a small grin. 

"No," Sherlock muttered quietly, as though the bee would take offence to loud noises. "What if it stings me?"

"It won't. Just waft it towards the window and it'll piss off."

"It wants to kill me, John."

John rolled his eyes. "Stop being a drama queen."

"I am not being a drama queen!" Sherlock shouted, before quickly slapping his hand over his mouth. He eyed the bee with suspicion and fear. It buzzed gently onto the arm of the chair, a ball of fluffy indifference. 

"It's just a bee," John sighed, getting up and using his paper to guide the bee to the window. 

"It's a killing machine," Sherlock hissed in reply. 

John saw the bee off, where it bumbled happily into the warm evening air. John gave it a little wave. 

"There, better?" he asked tiredly. 

Sherlock leapt to his feet. "No! No it is not ok! Too long have I been kept locked in this world of fear and horror at their buzzy little machinations. BUT NO MORE!"

John raised his eyebrows as Sherlock pointed dramatically at the ceiling. 

"I will study them, John. I will discover every little nuance and habit they possess. I will immerse myself in their world, become one of them, and when I have fully gained their trust..."

"Sherlock-"

"I WILL DESTROY THEM ALL!"

John watched as Sherlock breathed heavily, his finger still held aloft. 

"Right. You get on that. I'm going to make some tea."

Sherlock watched John until he was safely in the kitchen, before pouncing on his laptop and looking up cottages for sale in Sussex.

"You will not get the better of Sherlock Holmes," he muttered to himself with a twisted smile. "YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED THIS CONSULTING DETECTIVE!"

**Author's Note:**

> I simply must stop writing ridiculous shit.


End file.
